


Still, you're not alone

by dancing_apples



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: And neither one of them is entirely sure of how to deal with it, Gen, There is a lot of guilt, They're just two women trying to get by in this effed up universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 14:06:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10878348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancing_apples/pseuds/dancing_apples
Summary: Once everything is said and done, and before Rey leaves with the Falcon, Resistance medics insist on looking her over and doing scans and giving her inoculations. Rey, who has spent her whole life taking care of herself and never having seen a needle in her life, freaks out just in time for Leia to be passing by. The General pauses to help the frazzled medic by talking to Rey, and they have a discussion about loss and loneliness.





	Still, you're not alone

**Author's Note:**

> Work title from "No One is Alone" by Stephen Sondheim. 
> 
> Something about it kinda hit me, especially that part about the mistakes people make. 
> 
> "People make mistakes. Fathers. Mothers. People make mistakes, holding to their own, thinking their alone."

Leia had walked these halls many times over the many years since the Resistance had been active. She had paced and fretted, worried and cried, yelled and screamed in these halls. But even the familiarity of them could not help her. Not when the familiarity was what was causing the ache in her chest.

Han was gone.

Luke had abandoned her.

Ben had turned to the Dark Side. 

She was alone. Even surrounded by all the members of the Resistance, she was alone. 

“Hey, watch what you're doing,” a voice cried. Leia could hear a tremble of fear in a voice fighting so hard to be strong. “What the hell is that? What are you doing?”

“Calm down, Miss Rey. It will all be over in a moment.”

There was a hiss and a gasp before Rey cried out, and Leia moved quickly toward the Infirmary to see what was going on, subtly wiping a stray tear from her cheek. 

“What's going on here?” Leia demanded, portraying her best ‘General Organa’ facade.

“General,” Rey said, looking relieved to see her. And once again Leia was struck by her eyes, eyes that were so familiar. Her own eyes looked back at her out of Rey’s face.

“Ma’am, we were just doing those scans that had been requested, as well as vaccinating Miss Rey.” The Medic waved the needle as she spoke, and Rey flinched away from her.

A protective instinct swelled in Leia and she took a few steps closer to the girl on the table, carefully placing herself between Rey and the medic. “I think that will be enough for now.”

“Of course, General.” The medic bowed her head and moved away, disposing of the needle as she left. 

Despite the fact that both the medic and the needle were gone, she could still feel Rey radiating with tension, almost ready to vibrate out of her skin. Taking a deep breath, Leia faced the girl, not allowing herself to be surprised by those eyes again. She wanted to offer her comfort, something they could all use.

“You're alright,” Leia said, her voice soft, hoping not to frighten her further. “It was just a needle. I know they can seem scary, but vaccinations are a necessary evil, I'm afraid. When you have so many different species interacting, it's better to be safe when it comes to illnesses.”

A small amount of tension had left Rey’s body as Leia had spoke. “General, I'm sorry. I'm just not used to all this. There's so much that I don't know or understand. It can be frustrating.”

“And scary,” Leia added, and Rey did not deny it. “And it can be even scarier when things are not properly explained before they happen. That's my fault. I should have expressed that better in my orders. You have my sincerest apologies, Rey.”

“You don't have to apologise to me, General.” Rey looked distinctly uncomfortable about that, glancing down at her toes. “It's just all so new. And growing up how I grew up where I grew up… I suppose I should just trust that the Resistance has no reason to harm me.”

“But that trust won't be gained easily,” Leia said, and Rey looked up at her in shock. “The galaxy can be a hard place, Rey. Even harder when you're alone. And while I understand that more than some, you understand that more than most.”

Rey's eyes filled with tears, and the way she blinked hard against them made it clear that she was fighting not to let herself cry. Her hands balled into tight fists, her knuckles going white as she tried to keep her breathing even. 

“It's okay to cry, child. Loneliness has a particular way of tearing at the heart.” Leia reached out a hand and rested it on Rey’s fist. “And it can be so hard to bear. You've been so strong for so long.”

She began running her thumb over Rey’s knuckles, hoping to offer her comfort. The skin under her hands was rough, telling Leia more about her life than Rey ever had with her words. A hard life, her hands roughened by sand and hard work, perpetually stained with grease. Her fingers ran over her knuckles until Rey’s fist had relaxed enough for Leia to slip her hand into hers.

The tears she had been fighting fell, and Rey let out a quiet sob. “I'm not strong. I'm weak. I couldn't save Han, I couldn't save anyone.” Rey sniffled, staring down at their clasped hands. “They came to get me and Han is dead because of it.”

Leia’s hand tightened reflexively in Rey’s. Han. Han was dead. Han wasn't coming back. But it wasn't this girl’s fault. Guilt weighed heavy on her mind, but she could not allow Rey to think it was her fault. There were two people to blame for that situation, and Rey was not one of them.

The two people that should carry the blame were Ben and herself.

“Oh, Rey.” Her voice was thick with unexpressed emotion. “You may not have been able to save Han, but you did save Finn. You kept him safe and brought him back here. You fought Ben… Kylo Ren and survived.” Leia let out a shuddering breath. “You are so much stronger than you think.”

“But how can I be strong if I'm alone?” Rey’s eyes, her eyes, were searching for answers. They were begging Leia to tell her the truth and they were begging her to ease the pain. “And how can you not blame me for Han? You're alone now, too. Because of me.”

“I don't blame you for what happened with Han.” Leia’s voice was strong with that conviction, even though the subject caused her much pain. “Kylo Ren is to blame. He murdered his father.” Leia paused briefly, struggling to hold herself together. When she continued, her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. “And I am to blame. If I had not convinced Han that our son was redeemable, that he could be saved, that Han had to save him, Han would never have done what he did.”

Rey watched her expression intently, studying her with those watery eyes so like Leia’s own.

“I was alone long before Han… died,” Leia continued, her eyes not leaving Rey’s. “When my son turned, I lost my whole family. When my son betrayed us, my brother abandoned me and Han ran away. I've been alone for a long time, Rey, even with all these people around.”

“But I'd like to think that I'm not alone any more.” The General paused again, carefully thinking through what she was about to say. “That we both aren't alone now. Because we have each other.”

Rey’s eyes were a swirl of emotions. Shock, hope, fear, relief, longing. Leia squeezed Rey’s hand, a small, hopeful smile on her face. Rey’s answered Leia’s smile with one of her own, her free hand come up to wipe the tears from her cheeks. 

Leia’s heart swelled again. Neither of them would be alone again, not while they had each other. Not if Leia had anything to say about it.


End file.
